Epander IV

I meant to mention this beforehand, but I wasn't going to make an update on Christmas, so I hope that everyone had a great Christmas.  My mother, sister, and I planned and cooked most of the food, and so it was absolutely delicious.  Also, it's getting really hard to keep on finding pictures of ancient art of lovers.  This time it's a man and a boy, rather than a man and woman.  I'm running out of images.  Give me a break.

Still, he said nothing. It was doubtful there was anything that could have been said, but doubly so now. Instead Epander pushed himself up and crawled over to where she sat, cheeks still moist from tears. He put his hand up to her face and slid it around to the back of her neck, pulling her head towards his as he closed his eyes and puckered his lips. Her own lips were so soft, so plush, and felt so wonderful. He would miss those lips. Even as they pulled apart from one another, he already longed to feel their gentle touch once more, mouth hanging ajar with a mix of lust and trepidation in his eyes. She held a similar look upon her own face and it broke his heart asunder.

His jaw began to quiver and his breath became irregular as he looked upon her longer and yet longer still. He could hardly bear it, to see her like this, to know that there was nothing that he could do to abate it, to know that he was the cause of her sorrow. His heart was rent to pieces as tears began to well up, to wall themselves up in his eyes, so he broke their exchanged longing stare and launched himself into her, pushing her back into the ground whilst his lips remained engaged with hers, hand still behind her neck to gently lay her down. All of their passion was within this kiss, yet he couldn’t lose himself in it. All he could think of was how this would be the moment that he would have to remember; this kiss is all he would have left.

He brought his face up gently away from hers with yet still parted mouth and almost refused to open his eyes. It was as though if he never were to open them again, he could last in this moment forever, that it never had to end, that he never had to leave her; he could remain within her embrace and feel her heart thumping against his until the world fell into ruin about them. Was this not such a bad idea? Here he was in a tranquil glade with all the natural world serenating him, arms wrapped about his loving companion with whom he would never wish to be parted from. Was this not a perfect moment? Could he not just stay? No, perhaps it is because he had this which was worth fighting for, worth dying for, that made it so beautiful to live. Just the same, it was because of this great beauty in his life that he had to fight, that he had to die, all for the sake of preserving that beauty.

Epander III

Well everyone, I've just now finished the first chapter, which means that the first eleven, and hopefully the first third of the book, are absolutely complete (minus editing).  Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, I do a lot of self-editing while I write, so hopefully that whole process shouldn't take too terribly long.  I've also made a spreadsheet wherein I record how much I write.  I'll probably devote an entire post to just that.  I'm sure that everyone is waiting with bated breath just for that!

He could do as naught but to simply smile back at her lovely face. She was absolutely correct, and there was nothing that he could say to refute this which would adequately placate these emotions which she presented to him. They were verses of sorrow, but edged with an iota of resentment; how could he be so selfish, how could he be so cruel. They’d already had the arguments, but that time was passed. Now was not for such things, but only to share in the beauty of their homeland, and the grace of each other’s company. He opened his mouth ever so slightly, leaving it faintly agape, but he knew better, that his words could do nothing. Anything that could be said had already been said time and again.

Instead, he said nothing. Perhaps he should have said something, done something, but he did nothing. He rolled more fully back onto his back and gazed up into the sky, into the heavens, in pursuit of whatever answers may be conveyed down unto him. They said nothing, just as any other time which he stared into the sky, sought divine guidance. Clearly the gods were indifferent to the suffering of man, for why else should they subject him to endure it as he may? To suffer is essential to the human condition, for to suffer is essential to progress as a human, but why must the gods sit idly by against the suffering which so easily could be avoided, rather than the suffering that man inflicts upon himself?

He turned once more to face her and to look upon her face, look into her eyes. She had waited patiently for him, pain still wracking her expression. She was a dutiful wife, she was a loving companion; he could ask for nothing more than what she was able to afford him. That’s why this was so trying for him, for them, but further attested how necessary this was. He must leave. He must leave her. He must abandon everything he knew.

Epander II

See now?  Two posts in a row that I've made.  I can do things.  However, I'd like to say that it's actually to the detriment of the reader for me to post things up like this, as that one can only get a couple paragraphs at a time of scenes which are supposed to wrap one in a fit of emotion.  Alas, I shall have to only deliver snippets at a time.  Also, in this post there is a bastardization of a quote by John Stuart Mill which I'll have to edit in the future to become more original and not just blatantly stealing.  However, I actually really like the response that I give to it.

She looked up from her instrument for just a moment and noticed his gaze burning into her, instantly taking her fingers away and placing it down on the ground. Now only the orchestra of the stream remained, with the cadence of the chorus of birds accenting its steady tempo. There was love in her eyes, but also sorrow; he could only conceive that his own eyes had the same exact mien in them. They stared at each other in silence, through night and day, and in and out of surrealistic feeling; it seemed as but a dream. Her eyes began to water, and soon one tear raced down her face, followed by another. She kept her dignity, her poise; she did not blubber, she did not cry. But the tears refused their prison, their lacrimose journey being their message to the world.

She did not bother to wipe away her tears, but instead pled in gentle tones, “You don’t have to leave.”

He smiled, but not a genuine one, instead the smile that people give when they’re miserable, when they want to put forth a façade to fool the firmament of the universe itself, to make the public think that they’re contented, just as everyone else about them. She knew him, she knew better, she knew this not to be the case. He regardless refused to relent, “A man who is willing to fight for nothing, a man who places nothing above his own personal safety is a miserable excuse for a creature with the inability to remain free unless made so by the exertions of better men than himself. I am not that man; I must do what is just.”

“Men always return to their rhetoric, the shield behind which they hide when the darts of duty to their love and family are cast at them. They speak of duty, they speak of responsibility, they speak of honour. They never speak of their own heart, they never speak of the pain that is wrought unto those whose hearts they hold.”

Epander I

I'm really bad about consistency with this thing.  It all started off with me forgetting to update on day where I'd even prepared it such that I could update it from my phone whilst out for a social, but forgot all the same.  After that I was just lacking in my ability to remember things.  However, I reason that people actually do read these, so I might as well continue to post them up.  If for whatever misguided reason you're a loyal and devoted reader, I'll try not to lapse.  However, I may start putting up between each chapter non-fiction entries, either talking about background information about the world or just writing in general.  Without yet further adieu, I present to you the resumption of my blog, giving you the (real) first chapter of the book.

This was among the most beautiful moments of his life, and perhaps it was because of this great beauty that made it so sorrowful. He lay by the gentle bubbling of a brook, easing and melting away all of his worries, everything which he had to fear. Birds chirped and warbled in the distance, a harmonious symphony in their own right, trading refrains with one another in competing choruses. Where this not enough, his wife sat beside him, strumming her lyre to the tune of “Ode to Laoiphon”, recanting the departure of two lovers, one sacrificing himself in a journey to the underworld to bring back their son. The chords were almost haunting, but absolutely attractive in their accord.

He lay on his back in the soft moss, hands behind his head as he rest with his eyes closed, letting the resonance of sounds breath through him, to give him life, to give him this moment of splendor. They had left to come here before the sun had risen, and even just now as he opened his eyes it broke through the trees and gave a soft light on everything it touched. The flowers somehow were made to seem more fragile; his wife’s face softer and more fair, her hands more graceful as she ran them across the filaments of her lyre. He grinned at her, and could tell that it was a stupid sort of smile.

For a moment she was still entranced in her music, and he was able to look upon her face without her notice. She had great round eyes which were golden in colour, long dark eyelashes drawing you into them. Her face was tanned, somewhat rounded, with large, pronounced cheekbones and full lips. Her black hair was tied back behind her head, but still covering her ears. She was absolutely stunning, especially so now. He could lay here like this forever, listening to the hymns of the forest and her music both, gazing upon her face until they both were turned to stone by the gods forevermore, a testament to their devotion to one another.